Just fell off a train. Bad.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
