the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
