can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
