I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
