I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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