sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
