Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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