I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Green mimosas i think yes
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
