We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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