I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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