unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
