There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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