It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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