He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
