So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
