Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
