I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
