u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Still dying that you shit outside
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just want to make out with him forever
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
