Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
