It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
