I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I would ride that face into the sunset
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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