Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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