I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
