Everything about him screamed your future.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
