He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
