The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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