Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
if only i could text you this smell
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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