This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
