all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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