I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
