I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
