Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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