We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
operation have a gay friend backfired
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
