I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
