You can't special order awesome
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
