Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
