i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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