he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My feet surprised me
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