i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
