My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize