Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
