I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
