Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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