Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
