big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
