why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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