Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
