Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
