im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
