just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
