from now on my penis is your penis
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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