brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
