with your own penis?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
