..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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