How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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