Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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