I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
