I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
