I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
