"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
