i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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