Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
